Always Enough, Nothing Less
by lms2457
Summary: She has always been more than just his wife, but he he has always been more than enough. Specfic. Oneshot. Based on promo stills for PhDead. Mild spoilers.


**Always Enough, Nothing Less**

 **Disclaimer** _ **:**_ I still don't own it, and I am back to being a poor student with bills, so I'm even less worth suing.

 **AN** : Very likely a simpler path and more complex conversation than we can expect on screen. Such is the nature of fanfiction, free as it is from all source constraints. Completed in about 90 minutes, with no beta. All errors are mine. Based on promo stills for PhDead. Mild spoilers _._

* * *

"Relax Beckett, you aren't going to be stuck with me forever."

Her heart clenches and she spins around, objection ready on her lips but he's already looking right back at her, wide eyed an a little wild, like he's instantly regretting it.

"I - just, down here, I mean. In a tiny little cell with bars. Unless you want to be I mean. Because we haven't really tried that but I bet there are more than a few fun things -"

She goes for her best quelling look. "Castle," she says, direct, but trying to keep it playful, her heart still pounding much to hard after his first remark. Not that the second is slowing it down any, for very different reasons.

"Sorry," he says back. But it's just a little to quiet, a little too broken.

"No, I am. I know this is hard. I know that it is hurting you. And I promise you, Rick. It's killing me too." It scrapes it's way out of her in its truth, the way this hurts her, knowing she's hurting him.

"Then, just come home, Kate. Please. Whatever this is, whatever you need, we'll work it out. Just come home."

Her eyes slam shut, the force of his plea hitting her like a gust of wind she can barely withstand as her back hits the barrier of the bars behind her. She can't look at him and get the words past her lips at the same time. "I can't. Not yet."

There is a pause in her self imposed darkness before his voice comes softly toward her. "I don't understand. What did I do?"

Her eyes fly open again, and without a second thought she's closing the fractional space between them, her hands coming up to cup his face. "Nothing. No, you haven't done, or not done, anything. It isn't like that."

"Then why?" He asks. "I miss you, Kate. And I need you, I think - I think we need each other, and I want to be here for you, but you're just...gone. And I don't know why. Just tell me why, Kate. Please."

You're just gone, and I don't know why. The blow of it is painful. Because those are words she understands. A pain that is an intimate companion. Her hands slide down, circle his neck in a loose hug. She's immeasurably grateful when he does not pull away.

"You've always been enough for me, Castle. More than enough, and more than I ever could have thought it possible to hope for in this life." She feels his muscles relax, and takes a breath before she continues. "But I am more than just your wife."

"I never should have said that. I shouldn't have let him -"

"Shh. Listen," she says softly. He stops.

"I am more than just your wife, Castle. And you are more than just my husband. You are a father, a son, a writer. You are a friend, a partner, and a brilliant mind. And you are a wonderful man. You are more than enough. You're everything, do you understand?"

He doesn't speak, but his forehead falls against hers, drawing them fractionally closer until they share breath.

"And among other things, I am a daughter, a partner, a friend. And I am a cop. And each of us, all these roles we play? Sometimes ask things of us that conflict with others. Right now there is something I have to do, something I can't walk away from lightly. But to do it, I need to be a cop. And for this, I need to work alone."

"It's dangerous, isn't it? Kate you're scared. I can see it. I can feel it. And not just for me. If you're in trouble -"

"I can not take you with me on this one, Castle. Don't you see? We're partners, yes. But you're also my husband. There is a reason those two things are not supposed to be the same. Because when your wife is afraid for you, the cop can't think. Can't focus. And if I can't do that, it will get us both killed. Sometimes the stakes are too high. Sometimes -"

"You need me to stay in the car."

"Yes." The word rushes out, pure relief.

He pulls back slightly, but doesn't break our hold. "And you can't trust me to do that and live in our home?"

She swallows. "Do you know what really bonded me to McCord, Hendricks Valinte and the others in the short time I was in DC?" He swallows, too, but doesn't speak, and she knows on some level, he understands. She tells him anyway. "You were dying. We were out of time. Without even knowing what the play was, they backed me - us - up."

"Partners," he says, and she nods.

"Rachel held the guy at bay, and if she hadn't, there wouldn't have been time. I would have lost you."

"Because I couldn't stay out of it," he finishes for her, a little resigned.

They stare at one another for a beat. "Yeah."

She can see him thinking, wheels turning in his mind. "How does this work then? How do we work? Because you're always going to be a cop, Kate. We need to figure out how to make it work, because you can't just leave every time things get risky."

"I know," she whispers, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "We'll find a way. Set boundaries. But in this moment, while I have to get this done? It's too much. I need to finish what I started, Castle. Can you let me do that? Can you back my play, without knowing what it is?"

His answer is forceful, immediate. "Of course. Partners."

Tears sting her eyes. They are that. But they are much more than that. So much more.

"Kate," he says, taking a slow step back. She looks up, eyes watery. "I could never ask you to be less than you are. But you need to know one thing," he holds up his left hand. "I am not a cop, so the only badge I answer to is right here. If you need me, I'm going to be right behind you. I'm coming in for my partner if it comes to that. Because I can't be anything less, either."

She nods once. "I know. And I could never ask you to."

And then, they are freed.


End file.
